Tag Archives: random thoughts

It’s a question of… finding excuses

Finding excuses starts from a very young age. My son has already perfected the art to a point where he can explain quiet convincingly why he can’t: find the laundry basket / tidy his room / do his homework now (basically: because I said so, but of course that’s not how he puts it). I don’t blame him. Making excuses is a honourable attempt to avoid getting told off, especially when you’re a child (or a man, but that’s another story).

As you get older, you start making excuses for others, starting with the guy you’re in love with (who doesn’t call because he: is afraid of committing / has got a lot of work / must spend time with his friends) or want to live with (but who can’t leave his wife because: he still loves her / she’s the mother of his children / a divorce would ruin him / she’s sick, etc., etc.).

I’ve been quiet a good excuse-finder in the “boyfriend area”, but today the only other person I find excuses for is my son. I undertake this so others might see that despite him doing or saying certain “not-so-good” things, he is a wonderful child (it’s just that he’s tired / bored in school / still so young).

I spend much more time finding excuses for myself though. What has changed is that I’m not making all these excuses to avoid getting told off (my parents and friends have long stopped listening to my excuses and tell me off anyway). I’m finding excuses for myself in order to “feel better”. I know this is plain stupid. Because ultimately, no matter how good my excuses are for not doing the things I should, I don’t feel better for not doing them.

So I’m going to try a new experiment: I’m not going to make any more excuses for myself for a month and see where it takes me. Maybe I’ll feel less of a failure – and maybe, just maybe, I might get a few more things done!

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It’s a question of… getting started

There are so many things I’d like to do. Like the things I list every New Years Eve: learn Spanish, do sports, write a book, keep the bathroom clean… I’ve been enumerating the same stuff for over 10 years but just don’t seem to have the “get started – get going” gene it takes to actually do something about it. I have the material I need. I might even have the time. But I obviously don’t have what the French call “la niaque”, the fighter spirit. Where does one get that? I have no idea. I do know however that I have reached a place in my life – and an age – where things, some things at least, have to move in a new direction. Or simply move.

I googled “quotations” and “start” to find some inspiring expression about the “getting started” question, and found this: “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending”. It’s by Maria Robinson. I don’t have the slightest idea of who she is, there are a lot of Maria Robinsons on Google. But whoever she is, she’s probably right. So today, right here, I’m getting started… on making a new ending.

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Filed under Life in general