It’s a question of… buying a vibrator

The "Bone", the vibrator designed by Tom Dixon. Price: 99 £

The feeling of “becoming a woman” supposedly overwhelms you when you get your period or loose your virginity. This may be true for others, but for me the doors to womanhood opened the day I purchased my first vibrator. I remember very clearly thinking to myself “Now, I’m a real woman” when I walked out of the store.

I was 25 and had recently changed jobs, leaving an all-male team to join a largely female one. My work conversations moved from football and sex to… sex. The real change was how the subject was discussed. (Let’s just say my new female colleagues were a lot more fun to listen to…).

The question of going out to buy vibrators came up when one of my colleagues heard about a newly opened “Sex supermarket” in Paris. The idea of walking around with a shopping trolley in a supermarket selling only sex toys and all things related widely appealed to all of us. And so, one evening after work, we took off.

The "Squeel" (from http://www.lovehoney.co.uk), "a wheel of 10 teasing tongues"

The whole experience was delightful. There was only one “connoisseuse” amongst us, but she patiently explained the pros and cons of the various models before letting us put them in the trolley. We each came out with something different and then went out to eat at a very chic restaurant with our bags and big smiles. (For those in Paris, there are now 4 of these supermarkets in town).

My first vibrator was a very plain model in pink plastic. It looked like the ones you see in home catalogues under “massage and relaxation”. Nothing fancy, but it was most certainly the best 30 francs (5€) I ever spent (prices have gone up since!). And was just as efficient as the showerhead – with the advantage of sparing me a trip in the tub.

A "Rabbit" model, made famous by "Sex & the City"

I’m pretty sure I don’t need to explain this, but I will anyway: vibrators are used to masturbate, not to “replace a man”. True, the result is much quicker (and the orgasm stronger) – and always 100% guaranteed. Nevertheless, men – and women alike – need not feel threatened by it. A vibrator is a masturbation device, nothing more. It doesn’t take away anything from anyone; it just adds a few extra moments of pleasure to life.

Since my first sex toy purchase, there have of course been others. Today I function with a so-called Rabbit (offered by my mother) and a pocket vibrator for travelling (offered by my best friend). If I had money to spare, I’d give a Rabbit to all my female friends – and they would be forever grateful.

Of course, a lot of them already have vibrators. One friend got hers early on from her mother, who told her it was for “combating cellulite” (she was very happy to discover its real use). Another has had to find a new hiding place for her sex toys since her daughter found her “love-beads” and hung them on the Christmas tree…

The great thing is that vibrators have become mainstream. You can discuss them freely, you can buy them easily without having to set foot in a sex shop (I’ve even seen vending machines with pocket vibrators in public toilets) and the choice is amazing (underwater models, ones that vibrate in rhythm with your iPod or your cellphone, designer models, Swarovski crystal-encrusted ones, Hello Kitty ones… not to forget the latest eco-friendly, green technology vibrator: “The earth angel“).

The OhMiBod connects to Ipod or Iphone for "good vibrations"

Surveys show that between 50 and 55% of English and American women use vibrators, as do 40% of Danish women (if someone has the percentages for French women, I’d like to know). That still leaves a lot of women who don’t have that pleasure. In other words, if you’re still looking for that “special” Christmas gift, you know what to buy. The holiday season is all about giving joy. With a vibrator, you can’t go wrong.

6 Comments

Filed under The sinner in me

6 responses to “It’s a question of… buying a vibrator

  1. Gill

    Love the thought of you girls going to the Sex Supermarket then off for a meal together . Totally SATC! Cool :o)

  2. Jingle

    You are bravest woman in the world, honest, funny, and convincing…:)
    You look cool out there.

  3. Aanders

    Ahhh Neel… i love your blog! But you already know that :) Too bad we don’t get a chance to meet at J’s christmas party. Have a fun day!

  4. Jayne

    Quelques pas d’ici j’ai pris
    Le Passage du Désir.
    Les plus beaux jouets ils avaient,
    j’ai pris le plus joli.
    Du plaisir il procure, des
    spasmes ainsi que des cris.
    Retourné à la maison,
    je l’ai consacré tout de suite
    en ton honneur.
    Je sais que je pourrais,
    à tout moment,
    compter sur lui.
    Mais le petit moteur
    à l’intérieur n’est pas un cœur.
    Le sang ne coule pas dedans.

  5. Stand Up Guy

    Wow how’s that for no taboo topics on this blog. I once had a flatmate that got drunk and on her 3rd night in the flat and decided to give us a vibrator lesson. Although amusing at the time, not really what you want from a flatmate on the 3rd night.

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