It’s a question of… men peeing outside

I live on a boulevard in Paris: a wide, multi-lane road with trees on each side, on which my office window has a direct view.

For a reason I have yet to elucidate the tree just in front of my window is the one men always choose to pee behind. And ‘behind’ is of course the wrong word. A tree on a boulevard is as round as anywhere else, so no matter where the peeing person stands, I get a full view of something I’d rather not.

In a week, I’ll see an average of 6,3 men peeing on that tree (yes, I count…). And I’m not just talking about the man who lives two benches down. I’m talking about office guys, delivery guys, simple going-for-a-walk guys; I’ve even seen a neighbour taking a leak there!

It goes without saying that I’ve never seen a woman doing the same. This tree is not a discreet place. There are cars passing constantly at less than one meters distance on one side and a busy sidewalk plus 12 floors of people living on the other side. Why do men pee here as often as the dogs that pass? I ask myself that every day…

Oh, I know all about the wonderful sensation of “freedom” men feel when peeing outside, I know that it’s much easier to do it without wetting yourself when you don’t have to squat, but still, why should I have to watch strangers pee outside my window? Why can’t they wait, use the public toilet or go into the café (both less than 50 meters down the street)?

Each month, 56 000 m2 of Paris are soiled by urine. One can only guess how many men pee in the streets every day to cover such a surface. My answer is: too many.

A few months ago, Susana Ferreira, a journalist from the  Wall Street Journal did a story about the “Anti-pipi Brigade”  in Paris. A lot of (non French) bloggers followed up on it. It  was after all a great story: 88 “agents de la Brigade des incivilités” roaming the French capital in the search of  street “urinaters” and handing out tickets. (I do wish they’d  visit my street, but I’ve never seen them for real).

In 2009, about 2000 tickets (with fines up to 450 €) have  been given in Paris to men relieving themselves illegally.  That’s not much compared to New York where the police have handed out over 18 500 summonses for public urination this year.

My point: I think men who pee outside are pigs. If it’s so important for their “manliness” to do it, they can let the little one out in their own garden or in some remote field. And whilst they’re at it, they might want to practice how to pee straight…

You can watch the video about the Parisian “Anti-pipi Brigade” here.

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12 Comments

Filed under Fly on the windscreen

12 responses to “It’s a question of… men peeing outside

  1. Gill

    Yes, they do it all the time where I live :( A builder working for me preferring to pee on my plants rather than use the Bathroom shown to him! *wonders if it wasn’t clean enough* ;)

  2. Topsy

    I have to say .. unless it’s a real emergency, there is no need to pee outside but …

    I was browsing the web and paused at this website http://www.shewee.com/

    The Shewee. A moulded plastic funnel that provides women with a simple, private and hygienic method of urinating without removing clothes whilst standing AND sitting.

    I read on…

    When positioned securely under the crotch, and with underwear pushed to the side, Shewee directs urine away from the body to a suitable place, such as a toilet, a container or a conveniently located tree!

    Now this is the bit that caught my attention..
    “or a conveniently located tree! ”

    The Marketing Guru that came up with this Gem must have been a Man !

  3. roberto

    We talk about the ” feminin instinct” which is an expression I disagree with since it means that we as women don’t have brains but instinct like animals.
    It would be more appropriate for men after all since they seem to smell places to wee just like dogs.
    What I’d like to know: have you observed the same amount of dogs weeing on your tree from your window? Do dogs change trees because the smell isn’t the same as one of their own species?
    Basically is there a relation between a dog’s wee and a man’s wee. Have you noticed anything interresting? Then the “good” thing about this story is that we are in the 21st century and everything is electronic, our lives are governed by satelites but at least some animal instinct remains in our genes. So maybe you should be grateful, one day men won’t have such a natural and animal hability to open their trousers and pee on a tree.
    The trees will be equiped with radars and will spray back water to the peeing man’s penis, his size and color will be registrated via satellite and he’ll receive a fine at home. Or one will have to pee in designated places in order to collect and transform the pee into fresh water because of the climate and the lack of liquid on earth. You can just imagine so many things on the the water bottles …. “This water was collected on the trees alongside the Champs Elysées” for instance…

  4. bummer

    great site

  5. KAF

    What is wrong with peeing outside. It is great. You do not have to aim, you can see how far, long, or high you can shoot the stream. Also, it is very much fun. I trully love to pee outside as much as possible.

  6. Mr Enormous

    Oh clearly this blog was written by a woman. I am sure there is some underlying jealousy about the impromptu nature of men being able to pee anywhere they please.
    While I accept an argument based on hygiene, I believe if executed in the right place a man can and should experience the way we were primatively designed to pee!

  7. mojo

    Peeing on a tree is one thing… but I live in a basement flat and some drunk guy just took a leak by my window – you can’t say that’s not disgusting, and it being the only window at ground level on the street, it had to be done on purpose. Disgusting pig.

  8. ʎʌɹnʇ ʎsdoʇ

    My comments about the previous comments.

    KAF thinks that peeing outside is great. “You don’t have to aim, you can see how far, long, or high you can shoot the stream etc.”

    “You don’t have to aim” .. Oh yes you do. If you don’t then you wet your trousers/shoes.
    If you don’t aim then how do you get to see how far or high ?

    Oh! and aiming usually means “with the aid of a hand.”

    Remind me not to shake his hand !!!

    Now then Mr Enormous… who believes if executed in the right place a man can and should experience the way we were primitively designed to pee!

    Ever tried a Urinal ?

  9. KAF

    Hey, topsy turvy–It is fun to pee outside and you can always wash your hands after. So I will continue to pee outside as much as I can.

  10. KAF

    I will continue to pee outside as long as I can and as long as I live. Peeing outside is FUN!!!

  11. Nice French Lady

    I would say peeing outdoors allright if there no bathroom or it’s emergency but making it habit is not good. I’m from a French culture in my dad’s side so I’m definitely not pee shy I would rather pee outside than wear depends. I would never wear depends (for me it very last thing I would in my advance old age). But Frenchmen I pee outdoors too much. I’m glad American and Mexican men dont piss outdoors much as the French men do. My boyfriend who is Mexican only pees outdoors if there absolutely bathroom.

  12. Mya

    Peeing outside is DISGUSTING. BOTH sexes were designed to pee outside and women rarely do this. I have had to pee very badly in public places many times and I have never, EVER physically not been able to wait for a bathroom. Not in my whole life.

    Peeing outside is a form of male privilege in our culture, something done by who believe they can just treat the world the way they like with no regard to decent behavior. (Catcallers do the same thing). It’s not manly to pee outside. It’s not “natural” to pee outside. Unless you’re doing it in the woods during a hike (which I have much less problem with), you are peeing in a place where people walk and where people have to see you. Why not masturbate on a bus? Why not take a dump in a department store? If it’s not “natural” to be in private when you do these very private things, what’s the difference?

    If you pee in public, you are a disgusting person and have NO regard for the people around you. You should have to pay a HEFTY fine and be subject to public shaming.

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